She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
