I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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