You're completely useless in the revolution.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
