was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
