drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
