Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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