What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
