Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
