I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
false alarm. still invincible.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
