that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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