May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize