His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
