Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
