"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
