i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
