yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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