whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
