i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
