If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize