Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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