Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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