i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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