hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
