i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
