There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
