My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We have so much sex to catch up on
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
