i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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