i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
