So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
