mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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