I am puke
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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