even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
