lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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