: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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