i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
