shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
