he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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