Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
