Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
