Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
