I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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