I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
a search helicopter?!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
