Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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