I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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