He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
