I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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