She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize