never play flip cup with pint glasses
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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