I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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