nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
