i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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