Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
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Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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