you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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