Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
