I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
