So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
