you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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