Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We got so high we made milksteak
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
