Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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