If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
