Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
