He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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